Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
