We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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