You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When did angry sex become our thing?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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