How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
