i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So much rum. So many feels.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
