their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Are we still banned from the library?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
