erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
