I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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