We won't sleep together?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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