he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize