His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize