All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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