How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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