me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
