You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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