in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
