The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
