I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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