She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
