I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't notice because vodka
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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