Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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