just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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