after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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