Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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