i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
