We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
