ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
