I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
