there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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