You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
