I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
wow bdsm is so cute
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
