it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Vodka?
Forever.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
