I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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