tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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