I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
