you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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