I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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