I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
