Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
