i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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