There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
