problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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