its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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