I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
