So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
