guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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