My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
