It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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