I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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