oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
