I'd wear matching sweaters with you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
