Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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