Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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