I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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