So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
