I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
