My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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