so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
