Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
