Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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