I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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